Surviving the life vs Living the life

In order to live this life, we need to survive.

Yeah.

<3

Tapi apa la sangat masalah hidup kita, compare dengan si kecil ni. Tanpa orang tua, jalan raya; rumahnya, menagih simpati untuk makanan untuk survive, bukan untuk kenyang sampai tak boleh gerak. I wonder, lainnya childhood memories kita, kan? Dear boy, I miss you. seeing you smile made us smile.

This is my 3rd semester in London. Extra 1 semester.

Full of challenges and... good things :)

Definitely an eye opener.

I am 11 days away to my final exam, my one and only ACCA paper, my last one, hopefully for the last time!

Amin

Ya Allah please make our days easy... 

I portrayed my dream of my life beautifully when I was cracking my head learning finance.

What to achieve.

Determination. 

Yes. We can.  Biidznillah. Dengan izin Allah.

Forgive me

Forgive me, dear self. I am still figuring out how to be strong on my own feet, on my stand.

That day I stood up strong,  now I fell on the ground because of my own hands.

One day.

I will find myself. And hold it tightly.
And will never go back to the past.

Just to the future.

But...
Nothing could happen without the Mercy of Allah.

Everything happens because of His mercy.

Everyone struggle.  Struggle to be better. Struggle with ourselves.

Just like the north and south pole of the magnet.

Wanted to post as little status as .... Allah knows best and segala kekuatan dari Allah. 

Teringat kata kata seorang ni. Bila kita nak express benda kita express kat twitter or kita secretly talk to Allah?

Allahu.

Teruji.

Habluminallah wa hambluminannas.

May Allah guide us all.

Homesick kali sejuta. Nak balik Wimbledon. *hentak kaki*

Where is the love

For one moment, I wish I am studying medicine, at least i could treat those who are in pain in Syria, Egypt, and Palestine. 

My heart cried looking at their pain. Looking at the devil acts by the heartless human. 

Why? Why is this happening oh dear smartypants. 

Forgive us ya Allah. 

confused on what we could do...#

The least we could do now is pray, pray for them, and stop contributing to the body who are in support of this devil. 

Hasbullahu Wani'mal Wakeel. 

Allah is sufficient for us. 

and to Him we Surrender. 

Allahuakbar. He is the Greatest. 

Show us The Light, ya Rabb. 

Past

All of us has gone through the bittersweet of life. Sometimes we wish we could just flush it down the toilet,  and move on with life.

Truth is, life is not that easy. Unless you had a concussion or permanent brain demage, nauzubillah.

Well, let's take it this way, let's just accept it as it is. Let's take it as something that has made us today. Even if someone else's brought back the story, we could just be cool about it and smile.

Thinking, yeah, it's in the past, and I'm okay with it. Without having a hard time wishing it never happened. Or wishing we were wiser, back then.

It's okay, things are alright and it will be better.

Well oh well, life is an ongoing learning process. We need just be open to accept our mistakes and be wise enough to notice our mistakes.

Love yourself. Xoxo.

Syawal di Perantauan

Assalamualaikum

ALhamdulillah it has been more than a week we celebrated our victory after fasting for a month in the Holy month of Ramadhan. 

For the first time, ever, i am celebrating not with my parents, celebrating thousands of miles away from home. Indeed it is an exciting experience to celebrate it with new people. 

Oh and the best part is...I have the chance (after at least 5 years) this time to celebrate this Syawal with my eldest brother and celebrated for the first time with Sister in law. 

They made pelita. :')

Cooked together with sister the night before, oh and, in UK they announce quite late about when is the eid, like after Asr, usually in Malaysia we could be sure when is our Eid though the announcement has not been made. Cooked Kuzi (kelantan sweet curry) just like what mama would do, Rendang and kuah kacang. I have a new curtain for my rooooom yeay! Its like giving a new life to my room. Psst, actually its my brother's workstation, its my room during the weekends or when I go back to their place. Feeling loved! &hearts;_&hearts; #

Went for the Solat Sunat Aidil Fitri in Malaysia Embassy, could see actually how big the population of Malaysians in London. Most of them are working people with their family and Post Grad students. Undergrads student mostly are in Malaysia enjoying 'summer' in Malaysia. Anyway... I didnt go to Ambassador's house for his open house. Perhaps thats a thing that I have missed. But I dont feel that bad. 

Living in London, in such a big city, its hard to be close with the Malaysian community, you can, but its not that easy, we live not so near (cost of living) and London is just so big. All is well. 

Anyway, spent the weekend away from London, drove south down to Portsmouth to ever loving close friends of my brother and sister, spent a moment there, thank God there was Lemang and i felt so close with them already because they have been visiting us for quite some time. continued the journey up North to Coventry for a open house and shoot to Leeds. Basically 3 open houses in a day in a different state (that is not that near to each other) 

Alhamdulillah, stopped by at the last stop for the day, brother's friend who is a medical doctor and he is finishing his PhD. Its just amazing how hardworking some people can be. I mean, he's already a Med. Dr. and he still would do his PhD. Ended our day with ever delicious ayam masak merah and teh tarik terbaik ( i mean reeeeally good and Kak Ira really knows how to cook)

Day 2 in Leeds. Breakfast at Double Dr (in syaa Allah) house and shoot to a carboot sale in York. Its a very calm state. Love the wheat fields along the road. made me missing nestum back at home. And stopped by at factpry outlets and York town centre. I dont know much, but i adore the classic architechture with the castles and Minster Abbey. Ended our day with Gulai Kurutuk with nasik putih and kak ira made kopi kapal api. Malaysian style ;) 

Day 3 in Leeds. Nasi Lemak, again at their house and had a tour around University of Leeds, where they study, its a very nice place to study. Mixture of old and new modern buildings, with wild cherries, with gigantic pillars library, i just love it. Probably because I am just studying in a college which is in a city of London and that means its just a block of classes, with no compound. Ended our tour by visiting this Malaysian family in Leeds, Kak Amy and Abg Man whom served us with delicious roasted chicken ( now I am hungry :( ) They are so nice. Random people who are so welcoming. 

Alhamdulillah, to every stop, in syaa Allah have learnt valuable lesson, 

to see how they survived in this country, to earn extra money, how they see things differently, how they correct other people's view. 

Alhamdulillah. 

P/s: 5 months, and the home sick feeling kicking in.

 

You know its ............ when...

"Panjang nya luahan perasaan (problem)"
     "Dont say anything, just read"

:)

Power

Assalamualaikum.

Its fun to attend the iftar jamaie eith malaysian communities.. to expand our contacts add menaning to life and enjoy the togetherness. ..especially enjoy the togtherness of celebrating this Holy month.

I overheard aunties sharing their stories... how they couldn't make it to perform their Hajj and all... but she said... " I see things differently, its okay "

It would be more awesome if I have learnt to accept things as what has been planned and see things differently.

See things differently,  be positive, is a must for everybody.

For a better life, healthier mind....♥

Everyone is down with fever at my place :(

Homesick level 99 perhaps? Hehe

Having my first fever after 4 months I am here.

And its Ramadhan :(

Lord have mercy on us...

Every single word he says...

Dashboard confessional

Assalamualaikum :)

As much as i don't want my blog to be personal...I still can't help it but to write it here. -.-'

So I had my first day of school today. Semester 5 of ACCA. My fourth month in the UK. First class in this holy month. Tested. Again. To be approved by 'SIRIM'. QC perhaps. Heh Heh

Probably because i didnt have enough rest. Didn't have enough sleep to begin with. only slept for 3 hours and went to class. Perhaps need to just come on time, not one hour earlier anymore.

UK is currently having its most driest season in the past few weeks. Hence, it was...too dry(again) and...hot...and how I wish the air conditioner is as cool what we have in Malaysia! Sorry David:( I love the way you teach and your jokes and your endless stories about your wife...but i just can't help it.

25 Acres of Lavenders. Allahuakbar

Hidup orang bujang ;/ Yogurt weight watchers?:o hahaha... Healthy sangat duduk UK -.-' 

Now i am missing Malaysia.

Never felt this bad! This is just a test. Try harder. Yes. Yes. Yes.

On the other hand...felt like crying wishing for rain...walked home...and there was droplets of water... couldn't be more thankful. Isn't God the sweetest?!

Dugaan 14th day of Ramadhan. May it be the thing that could purify us...Ameen.

Cloud 9

Feeling too happy.

Cuz I am back at bro house from the place I rent.

Gotta teach myself to be independent and love to be there(the place I rent)

Haha just...I think the food at home is super nice.

Though I just sleep on a mattress.

But...I just had fried fish and lamb stew :/ just like mama would make! "Kakak, mama goreng ikan mcm mana..." hehe, just enjoying my last bits of holiday.

Went to the market with friends....gals and scarves and dresses and whatever... but it was cheap;/

P/s: layered cheese brownies I made. Inspired by Vienna cheese brownies at Secret recipe.

Siapa yang tidak adil

I find this really interesting and it is such a waste if I dont share it...

"Sabar untuk kita berlaku taat sebentar, kerna setelah apa dosa maksiat yang telah kita lakukan sebelum ini"

Tertusuk, right in the middle if the heart.

Yes. Sebab saya rasa untuk beribadah itu nampak dan rasa berat untuk hati kita. Yang... banyak murka dengan perintahNya. Kenapa?

Sebab buat dosa tu lagi senang. Sebab comforter tu lagi best dari  pergi ambil wudhuk kena jalan pegi sinki. (Now I have a sink in my room, its too awesome, I cant feel lazy anymore to brush my teeth)

Sebab...sebenarnya kan...baju jarang and cantik and baju kecik tu kan...actually...cheaper than baju untuk menutup kehormatan kita (its trueeee)

Sebab pakai handsocks socks inner whatever extra stuffs could be a burden sometimes, no more air flowing:( tapi... tahu tak.... on another part of the benefit other than just to protect ourself and as a form of ibadah, kulit kita protected too! No more cracked heels or kaki berdaki;)

And and and....

Cuci mata lagiii... best dari "lower your gaze for better days" (its summer)

Sabar lah. Sabar. Sebab janji Allah itu...sgt sgt lah. Pasti.

Yes. Kita pernah buat salah dan akan buat lagi sebab kita ni pelupa.

Kita tahu sang Pencipta itu lebih penyayang dari ibu kita sendiri.

Sebab Dia maha pengampun, Maha Mengasihani, Maha penyayang. 

Moga Allah memberi kekuatan buat kita semua.

This reminder is especially for myself. And all. :)

Ramadhan Mubarak. Ramadhan phase 2.

Truly, it is a month full with blessings.

Alhamdulillah all praise to Allah we are here on the 7th day of Ramadhan.

First time Celebrating this holy month without my parents and my sisters. This time around I am given the opportunity to fast thousands of miles away, in the west, with new friends and most importantly my brother and sister in law whom I haven't celebrate ramadhan togther in almost 10 years.

Looking at it, if people asked me, hows studying abroad, other than the adventures and fun, I am too happy to be given the opportunity to spend my time with my brother,  everyday for the past few months. He studied here and worked here ever since.  To me... its like... killing two birds with one stone.... :)

How's ramadhan so far?
I miss last year's ramadhan bcuz only then I have understood deeper about my religion and out real responsibilities as a muslim. Nahhh. Dont miss things too much. Let's create new memories.

7  days has passed. Fasting for 18 hours is still bearable during the day..its just when at night you really need to struggle to keep you really fresh to perform tarawih and other sunnah. Fajr is at 3ish and maghrib is at 9ish.

I have just discovered that the day is long and it is still not enough. Who knew I complained before... I have nothing much to dooo... now I have my time occupied alhamdulillah.  Its truly a blessing. I think its bcuz of ramadhan. Did an excellent decision to stay here!

Occupied myself with learning how to cook and bake, keep maself busy with unlimited chores, just...go for a walk at the park, do what women do best; shop, increase knowledge, we have so many things to do including get myself some rest cuz we really need to recharge for the night. Now I wish my holiday is not gonna end soon. Registered myself into quran and arabic class. I just learnt that...its not easy to memorize the quran.

Summer holiday has been fantastic so far.

Yeay.

Mission: do things that you wont do in Malaysia.

P/s: moved out to stay with some friends,  back to my family once a while. ♥

Forgiveness and reflection

What a start for my ramadhan.

Taught me to forgive and move on since we are not that pure anyway, Allah has hide away our mistakes.

Taught me not to judge others too much. Though we know them very well. If Allah could forgive His slaves, why shouldn't we forgive others?

They have their ups and downs in piety. Believe...that one day they will change. Yes, I do believe in that.

Because Allah is Great. He gives the guidance to those He chose.

Mirror mirror on the wall

Have you ever stared yourself in the mirror angrily? Reflecting what people has done to you and what you have done to yourself? 

But I know... Allah's mercy is above all. I know there will be a way.

Past is past.

P/s: first day of ramadhan.

You left

Been reading so many news regarding passing of a friend of a friend. Mother of a friend.  Someone related.

Reading those...how would it be when my time comes?

If its my time....

Hold on your tears and lets continue making some kuih keria shall we...

Anyway if its my time...I hope you forgive me Dear Lord, I hope you forgive me dear family and friends. I hope we'll meet again in the Eternal life. Amin

I'm being realistic. 

Every soul shall taste death (Quran)

Tested

When there's obstacles.
Plan cancelled. One less summer holiday excitement. 

Hold your self together....

It can be the thing we dont like, that is actually the best for us and it can be the thing we like is not good for us.

If you are tired of London You are tired of life. Gosh.